She is Fiercely Independent

empowered Apr 09, 2018

❤️ She is Fiercely Independent ❤️

I have experienced independence in its' weakest form.

{I share this because I know a lot of fiercely

independent women. And, I want you to know that it is not a weakness to allow others to do things for you. To let people in}

I swear that I was born into this world with fierce independence. Wanting to do everything myself and not wanting anyone to help me.

Acts of kindness is definitely not one of my love languages. In fact, it kind of makes me feel uncomfortable when a man wants to carry my skis, take me out for dinner, or help me with my bags. 
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Not to say that I don't deeply appreciate it. I do. Very much so! Maybe too much, because I don't feel that I deserve the flowers.

You see part of this fierce independence distances me from those who want to be my legs when I can't stand. Being independent means that when I feel weakness, I don't call upon others for strength. Instead I hide.

I'm working on this.

Letting people in. Allowing myself to feel comfort when someone extends their hand. Working through the anxiety that comes up when I feel like I am not doing everything myself.

I'll say it again... letting people in.

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Because the toxic side of being fiercely independent is that it distances us from deeper connections.

Because all of that time I could be appreciating a helping hand, I'm dealing with the anxiety of receiving that support or gesture.

I spend all my time wondering if the other person really wants to do that for me. Wondering if I put them out in any way. Wondering if they really truly want to be there for me, or just feel like they should.

And then... I either thank them profusely or not at all. Because I'm dealing with my own shit instead of being in the moment.

Ya know... I love being fiercely independant. I challenging myself. And it's been a huge thing for me in creating this life. Moving away from home at 17. Solo adventures where I had the joy of meeting some really incredible people.

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The lesson is...

To let go and allow others to hold my legs up when I am falling down.

To do things for me so that I don't need to do everything myself.

To let people in.

And to connect on a deeper level.

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I've been consciously working on this for the last year. Being invited into friends homes while I was road tripping the west coast of the US. Working through my shit and fully receiving their graciousness.

Asking for help when I needed it. And, admitting it in the first place!

Letting people in.

Allowing myself to be taken care of. Whether it was a bed to crash in. People opening up their home to me. Dinner to be paid for.

*** I share this because I know a lot of fiercely independent women. And, I want you to know that it is not a weakness to allow others to do things for you. To let people in. To ask for help when you don't have the answers ***

With Love 
XOXO
Kat

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